Saturday, February 18, 2012


After the crap week I've had (my good friend had her last go at IVF which did not work and another friend delivered a stillorn at 19 weeks), I was so excited to go to my friend Jenn's house for a girls' night. And, the wonderful thing about Jenn is that Sadie was invited, too (she knows I couldn't come without her and had said, "she's a lady, too!)

I am friends with five of the nine girls who were there. I met Jenn through my husband (they used to work together), and most of the girls there work together. So, they all knew about the difficult pregnancy, etc.

There were some questions and comments made that really bothered me. We've all heard them before, I know I'm sensitive, but it didn't make it any easier.
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I was asked by one girl when we'll be trying for a second baby so that Sadie will have a sibling. Our appointment with our RE (Dr. Buyalos) is Monday morning, and this subject is fresh on my mind. I was ready to go off on her, and I said, "She will probably be our only child. We can't afford another $20,000." I wanted to cry, but held it together.

One of my friends was talking about how she'd done clomid for 3 cycles, stopped, and "just got pregnant". Another girl then had to chime in, "That's always how it happens..once you just relax and stop trying." My face must have been bright red, and my friend Jenn then made the comment, "Or you can go through tons of treatments and spend all of your money and still may not have a baby". She knows the hell we went through.

I'm sharing all of this because I am sad and very nervous about our appointment on Monday. I'm so scared our RE is going to say congratulations on Sadie and that unfortunately he's sorry, that there will be no free cycle.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Made an appointment for next Monday morning with my RE, Dr. Buyalos. We're going to have him meet Sadie and ask for some kind of break when we're ready to try for #2.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Last night I went to a Resolve Support group (Resolve is a national infertility organization). I'd gone during my last IVF cycle, and due to complications with my pregnancy, this was the first time I could go again. It was really nice to sit and chat with these other women. I did feel a bit guilty, as I was the only one there who has gotten pregnant and given birth. While I was there, I thought of all you wonderful ladies and how nice it would be to sit in a room together and just chat...as we all know so much about one another :-)

I've also got some ideas now to try for baby #2- with my last cycle, because I ovulated early and lost 4 eggs, my RE had made a promise if it didn't work to give us a cycle. Obviously it worked. But because we don't have any frosties, I am going to get the courage to ask for that free cycle. The worst he can do is say no. Another option mentioned was the mini IVF. One woman there got a package of 3 cycles for $8,500. I didn't make that many eggs anyway, so I figure it's something worth looking into. And I imagine not being on so much medication is less stress on the body. I just need to see if my RE would do it, or I need to find an Re in the Los Angeles area.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Very disappointed. David had added me to his new medical insurance. I made the call today to inquire about infertility benefits, and there are none. We will be trying naturally in a few months for #2, but I was still hoping we'd have some medical coverage as a back up. Right now, and no time in the forseeable future, could we afford another $10,000+ to try for a second baby. I am very grateful for Sadie and need to count my blessings.