Every night before bed, David would kiss my tummy so he could "kiss our babies". So far, I hadn't felt any of the usual signs that my period was coming- no cramps or tenderness. I was really hopeful. My pregnancy test was scheduled for the morning of St. Patrick's Day.
I had my blood taken around 8am and made my way on to work. David called and texted a few times asking, "Anything yet?". I was excited, but nervous. I knew it could go either way.
Around 1pm, I got the call, "Jess, I'm so sorry hun....you can stop your progesterone and vivelle patches...please give us a call when you're ready to come back in." Well, the floodgates opened. I remember mumbling like a little girl, "Uh huh...okay. Thank you," and hung up the phone. I went into a private room and called David. G-d bless David, he is always so positive and told me, "We'll just have to keep trying".
How do you keep trying when you have used almost all of your limited insurance coverage, used what savings you'd had to pay for your wedding less than a year ago and are still paying it off. I already worked 6 days a week (Monday through Friday at CIGNA and Saturdays or Sundays in the ER at Henry Mayo). I was tired and feeling hopeless. I had three hours left at work. I knew I had to pull myself together and make it through the rest of the day. My boss passed by my desk and knew from the look on my face what the news had been. He offered to let me go home early. Honestly, I knew going home wasn't going to help and returned to focusing on my work.
Only a select few people knew we were going through IVF. I never posted about "it" specifically on my facebook page. I remember later posting on my facebook page the following:
"Wishes I had the luck of the Irish today."
One of our good friends responded, "Just remember that your life is filled with people who love you and are there for you... dogs too."
Another dear friend who knew what we were going through wrote, "
No comments:
Post a Comment